Life is a journey, one step at a time.

2003-07-09

Binging Already

I didn�t realize that updating was such a job. I thought that it would be easy and I would have so much to talk about. Ha! I�m actually a pretty boring person.

I have a real problem with binging. And it�s getting to the point where it is tiresome. I hate the hold that food has over me. Some days it feels as if I just float to the kitchen and eat, eat, eat without even being aware of what is going on, yet at the same time being aware but unable to stop putting food in my mouth. I feel imprisoned. How do I break the chains?

I�ve only been up for an hour and a half and I have already consumed all of my calories for today. Why? How could this happen?

I know all the reasons I binge. I�ve done the self questioning and figured out all the triggers that make me eat. Today I binged because I am a procrastinator, I should have cleaned the kitchen before I went to work, but I needed to get my strength up to do the task. HA! How much strength do I need? Surely not 1500 calories worth.

Some days I really disgust myself. And most days I really hate myself. I don�t want to feel this way anymore. It makes me sad.

when jae posted Binging Already, it was 8:07 a.m.