Life is a journey, one step at a time.

2003-07-18

Weirdness

I actually ate enough today that I don�t feel the need to eat. I won�t say I feel full, because that usually doesn�t stop me from eating. I just feel�weird. It is strange to me not to be planning what I am going to put in my mouth right now. Huh.

All I ate was junk today. And as I was shoveling food in my mouth I realized later that even though my mouth was craving this crap, I didn�t even taste any of it. I was mechanically stuffing my mouth almost as fast as I could, and zoning out. That�s the scary part. My mind was in another world, in a shallow, vague, dozing like state, not hearing, seeing, or even tasting. It felt like the strangest high I have ever been on and I guess all this time I knew this was going on, but I never really paid any attention to what was happening.

It makes me wonder why this is happening. Am I trying to drowned something out in my life? Probably, but what? I was starting to feel like my life was actually getting good, things are starting to fall into place. I guess I have to investigate.

~j