2004-09-01
In putting my food into fitday, I noticed that everything I eat is in twos: 2 pieces of toast, 2 tortillas for a snack, with 2 tbsp butter, 2 cups of soup, 2 cups of milk, 2 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with 2 tbsp pb and 2 tbsp jelly each. 2,2,2! If I didn't eat double everything, my calories would be half of what they are. I think it's not what I eat, even though I do eat like crap, I think it's the quanity of what I eat.I've always known big people that say "Well, I really don't eat that much--it's just my metabolism." I liked that excuse. I even used it a couple of times. Yea, I don't eat as much as say a pro wrestler, or a pro quarter back , but lets face it-I eat way more than my slim friends. A couple of weekends ago I worked with my friend M, who is small. (One of the reasons I like her is because she is not one of these little girls that always thinks she's fat, she just thinks she's regular for her size) Anyway, she was going to eat her lunch--a cup o soup. What?? Where was her sandwich to go with it, or at least a couple dozen crackers?
If only I knew how to put my focus on things other than food, I'd have this weight problem licked. I know I say that over and over, but how in the world to I change my brain? This over-eating pattern has been with me for as long as I can remember. Even as a young girl I can remember one tuna sandwich, while making the one I would eat for lunch!
I don't know--maybe I need hypnotherepy, or electric shock treatment (wire up the food in the fridge to zap me every time I touch it). I know I need something!