2004-07-27
These last two weeks have been fun and eventful. Having little D home is a blast, he is so sweet and cute, even thought all he does is sleep, eat every 4 hours and I'll give him a bath once a day (who knew such a little guy could stink so big?) E stayed home with me the first week and we had a great time. We would just find ourselves standing over him staring at in amazement--we created this sweet creature!! Last week my family came up from AZ, first my grandparents, they were so excited to have another great-grand baby and he was born on my grandpa's birthday! Then my favorite aunt came up to help with the shower and visit. I love her and miss her so much. I loved having her stay with me-it was like old times, just hanging out talking about girl stuff and relationships, weight loss (She's lost 55 lbs on south beach!) and children (she has the cutest granddaughter!!)This week is more settled down and I have alot of things to do while D sleeps--get my house back in order (the baby shower blew my clean, orderly house to bits!) and I have to take the x-ray board exam in 2 weeks, so I should be studying. But these last two days I have found myself in front of the fridge shoving food in my mouth, or making something to eat and saying to myself "This is it-after this no more food!" Ha! 10 minutes later, there I am again eating.
What is going on? I know it's because I'm procrastinating. I don't want to study for my exam because I feel like I'll fail it anyway. I don't want to clean my house-it's clean enough. (really, it's not up to my standards and it's driving me crazy) I've been meaning to get over to the Making it Mine and doing a Try-atholon for one of these weeks (don't give up on me, Holly, I will eventually get over there!) but I have been feeling lazy both physically and mentally and not wanting to do anything but sit in front of the tv holding little D or eating in front of the fridge. The thing about it is that sitting on my big butt in front of the tv and binging until my stomach bulges out makes me feel like shit--so why do it?
I need to snap out of it. I need to get forceful with myself and get to doing what I need to do.
So, I will go now, clean up my house, bathe D and then dig out the ol' x-ray books and start to study. I WILL NOT eat any more junk today and I will drink tons of water. These are my goals for today and I will not dissapoint myself.