2004-07-04
I think I will weigh in on Fridays, that way if I don't have a perfect weekend, I won't cry and be frustrated on Sunday morning.Weigh in: 208.5
I've been thinking alot about the kinds of goals I want to have in regards to my weightloss. The problem is that I'm not sure if goals are a good thing or a bad thing.
Maybe I'm just flaking off.
I'm not a goal oriented person. I really don't take goals to heart. I see how people beat themselves up if they don't reach their goals, how they feel like failures and I don't really want to do that to myself. I have a hard enough time dealing with the things I can't do that aren't goals. So when it comes to life changing decisions I play the "if I do, I do, if I don't, I don't" game. I never take it seriously.
I don't like to fail, so I don't deal with anything that I might fail at. Or maybe I'm just lazy?
Either way, what am I going to do? Walk along life, drifting mindlessly, waiting for something good to happen without trying? (Does that ever happen?) Then wake up one day upset because I'm still fat?
How many times in my life have I said to myself "If I had stayed on that diet, I would have lost XX amount of pounds by now! That time went by so fast, why didn't I just stay on that diet? I would be so thin!" Calculating on paper: xx lbs by xx weeks = how thin I would be if I had just stuck with it for more than a couple of days. Then I'd eat something to comfort my self. Every new school year started out with that sentence. Every new bathing suit season, every new christmas when the cameras came out, in the back of my mind was "A whole year went by and I'm just as fat as ever! Where did the time go? I could be thin by now!"
I don't want to wake up next year at the same weight. Hell, I don't want to go back to work in September this same weight!
So, I need to get my butt in gear and make some goals-long term and short term and really try to reach them. Put my heart into it and see what happens.
Who knows, maybe I'll wake up in a couple of months a smaller size and proud of myself!