2004-06-23
I think that I have been drinking too much.I have been going crazy drinking beer. It is starting to make me feel bad because I'm supposed to be making milk for my child and any I make I have to dump because it is tainted. I'm a mom now and I'm acting like a teenage partier! I feel so bad. I need to stop and be respondsible. Grow up already!
Another thing all this beer is doing is making the scale go up in numbers. I really don't have an appetite lately, yet I'm gaining some weight. It must be the beer and the binges that I do when I drink. Late night binge eating has always been a problem for me when I drink. Yes, it makes me feel better physically in the morning because all the alcohol has been absorbed, but makes me feel guilty as hell mentally. I sneak eat sandwhiches and bread and tortillas all topped with cheese and butter and anything that melts. I really don't taste it at that point, but I eat anyway.
What's my problem?
I need to get a grip on myself. I no longer have just myself to think about anymore, I have a sweet little boy who needs me. I don't want to be a dissapointment.