2004-03-25
Second entry. Wow!Thank you for your kind words.
I know there are people who can understand how pregnancy is and how scarry it is after a loss of a child and I will never be able to tell you how comforting it is to know that my thoughts and feelings are normal.
I think I'm coming around to feeling good again about my pregnancy. I cried alot about it and came to the realization that I'm scared yes, but most of all, sad.
I thought that everything that had happened before was delt with. But really, it's not quite healed.
I can't believe that I went this far and then...nothing. No joy, no happy memories. I've always tried to know in my heart it was probably for the best, but part of me is still so sad by that. I think this pregnancy has made me realize that a little part of me is missing. A part that I never missed until now.
Ok, I have to stop now. I don't want to cry anymore. It hurts too much.
Thank you, wonderful people who've comforted me, those here online and in person. Your comfort means so much.