2003-10-28
We found a house that we really like. So on Saturday we invited my mom, step-dad, E�s parents and sister to come and see it.Everybody�s in agreement. It�s a great house.
It�s a wonderful house, on a huge, beautiful lot. That�s what sold us on this house. The yard is .26 of an acre and just immaculate. Plushy grass, lots of flowers, just gorgeous! The house has its quirks, of course (shit, didn�t they all?), but on the whole, I would be so excited to live there.
We put an offer on it on Sunday and he counter offered on Monday. Yea!!! Our realtors tried to scare us into thinking we underbid way too much, but we were thrilled on Monday when he did exactly what we wanted him to do and counter offered the exact amount we wanted to pay. Ha!! Make him think it was all his idea and he�s putting the screws to us, when all the while he was just a pawn in our little game of house buying! Well, it�s really not that dramatic, but I can�t help it. I�m totally happy.
But then again I�m not.
I�m a true pessimist. No matter how hard I try to act like everything will turn out just super-de-duper! (See my big smile? You can hardly tell it�s fake!) there�s something inside of me that braces myself for the worst. I figure that if I hide behind my wall, and it all comes crashing down, then I can walk past the rubble I had already known would be there and not feel so bad. Just walk on by and not really feel the pangs of sadness and disappointment because I was expecting them to be there all along.
I�m probably just setting myself up, don�t you think?
No matter how great the negotiations go, we still have two months until closing, due to the VA loan we have. So I don�t really want to love this house because I see too many problems that could arise in those two months. That scares me so much. My anxiety level is sky high right now because of it. Right now I don�t know whether to yell, pace back and forth (which is weird; about six years ago I was having a lot of anxiety and I would just pace back and forth, back and forth and right now I really feel like doing just that!) or eat!
Nah, I won�t do any of those things. I think I�ll grab my book and snuggle in by my gorgeous husband while he watches the game. He�s been so wonderful through all this. Maybe I�ll give him a little lovin while I�m there!
Good night!
By the way, my challenge is a bust!! I think I will try again at a later date. But I�m still maintaining at 209.5!