2003-10-17
Just a quick update.My life is pretty much boring right now, which is ok with me. Well, other than trying to find a house to buy. I try not to think about it all the time and do a really good job of shutting down that particular thought course. It�s like my brain says �Too much pressure, don�t want to deal with it!� and just shuts out all house thoughts. E thinks that I�m not being very cooperative, but I just can�t think about houses 24/7. It starts to stress me out and the only thing that that does is bring out old habits like nail biting, over eating, and smoking.
Yes, my friends of long ago are calling to me. I haven�t smoked for a long time. Well, maybe a drag here and there, but not actually went out on my own and lit one up. Let me tell you, I love to smoke. I love holding a cigarette in my lovely hand and blowing smoke daintily into the air. I feel like an old time movie star. But on the other hand, I hate to stink of old smoke and I hate the way my chest feels like a piece of heavy equipment is sitting on it in the morning. I hate to hack up nasty gunk once the steam from my shower loosens it all up. (Nice thought, hu?) So that is just one more habit I�m trying not to latch onto in this time of stress.
We went out to eat at a wonderful Chinese restaurant this evening. It was so good. E had sesame chicken and I had kung pou chicken, both with white rice. YUM! I had put on my smallest jeans (the ones my mom talked me into buying) before going out. I could button and zip them with ease, but they were tight when I sat. I wore them anyway and I think they helped me from over eating. I felt pretty full when I left, but when I took them off after I got home I felt good � not stuffed at all.
Well, I�m off to hang out with my sweet honey. I love Friday nights. It�s our time to catch up!