2003-09-29
I went to my Doctor today for my ladies exam. Ugg. My doctor is a woman and I keep it that way. I know plenty of women that see male doctors and they are perfectly fine having some non-significant-other-type man check them out down there. Not me. I married the only man I want peaking around that area and even then I still get bashful.Dr. M was very proud of the weight I�ve lost and she could even tell as soon as she came in the room. She showed me on this little card that I have gone down 6 BMI points and I told her of my goal of 175 lbs by 1/1/04. She said that I seem right on track and at 175 I will no longer be considered obese, just over weight.
That�s interesting to me. I forget I am obese. And I forget at one point I was considered MORBIDLY OBESE. I hated that term. I usually just think of myself as big or fat or heavy, not obese. Thinking of myself in that way, obese, makes me want to stay on course, because even though there are wonderful, beautiful, smart, funny obese people in the world, I don�t want to be one of them. I guess working in the medical field has made me associate the word obese with illness. Diabetes, heart disease, joint pain, stomach problems, and when I see very, very large people in wheel chairs or on those little riding thingies, I get mad. I want to tell them they should move their body, walking would do them a lot of good. My boss is a very obese person and she�ll scoot around all day on her computer chair instead of walk. She�ll scoot on over to the donuts, grab a couple and scoot on back. It makes me so angry! And the worst part is she thinks it�s cute, part of her charm. I don�t see anything cute about a 5 foot, 450 lb lady telling me that I get to be her gopher and run her �errands�, i.e.: get her water bottle out of her van, fetch the phone for her, order and pick up her pizza (!!!) and basically do any of the things she was too lazy to do for herself. No, I certainly didn�t find it cute, I found it disgusting.
I know that sounds a little rude, but maybe that�s what I need to remind myself of why I�m trying to lose weight and get healthy.
Hmph! Ok, rant over for now.
My work friend and walking buddy is positively melting before my eyes. The South Beach Diet is working wonders. She is shaped like me (apple) and her belly is shrinking. The book caught my eye with the guarantee that you would �lose belly fat first� and sure enough, her biggest roll, the top one, is almost gone and it�s only been a month. The little glitch she is having right now is that she is afraid to add carbs back into her diet. She is still on the first step of the diet and worried about moving onto the next step. She is such a sugar addict that she�s afraid that if she eats anything that has sweetness in it (even bananas!), it will set her off into a binge that she may never recover from.
I can understand that, for my love of carbs runs very deep.
I have cut my carb intake quite considerably since I�ve started to eat better, and lately I�ve been thinking of cutting them out entirely. But I have a concern. The last time I tried to eliminate carbs I was a complete bitch for the whole day and a half. Will it affect me the same way this time? However, I like her results, and I keep wondering if I would have the same outcome.
Food:
Breakfast: 2 tortillas with 2 oz cheddar, � cup of coffee, 2 bites of a bb muffin (yucky), and one tiny taste of birthday cake (yummy!)
Lunch: nothing, I was having my what-knots checked.
Dinner: I�m going to make bar-b-qued salmon, broccoli, and a potato for E.
Cals: haven�t figured them out yet.
So tomorrow I think I�ll just try it without any carbs and see how it goes.
Good evening!