2003-08-20
I feel pretty bitchy about what I�m about to write, but this little fact sent me on a mini-binge. There were a couple of other things that I would have eaten if E hadn�t been here.One set of friends just bought a house. Another set of friends just got approved for a huge house loan and has a house in mind. A third set, brothers, have just applied for a loan.
Waaaaaahhhh! When�s it gunna be my turn? (To picture this correctly, you must imagine me in pig tales, dirty face, lying on my stomach with my arms and legs kicking furiously.)
Please don�t get me wrong, I am so happy for all my friends. I have seen them work hard and achieve what they wanted. I can�t wait for parties at their new homes, wooing and ahhing over the colors they picked or how great their back yards look. And I will really mean it when I say how wonderful it is for them.
But I am a spoiled brat.
Because my sweet husband was the one brought me the news and in his usually happy, positive way (�See, Jae, that means we can do it too!�) I have been picking at him all evening and making him feel bad. I know it makes him feel bad when he just can�t hand over every little thing I want. And believe me, he tries. I don�t mean to make him feel lousy, it�s not his fault, or anyone�s for that matter, these things take time and patience, but I just can�t help this little bit of envy that bubbles up.
(I just had to go give him a hug and kiss and tell him how wonderful he is. Mushy I know!)
I feel the same about people in my life that have lost weight. And I do know many. My ex roommate has lost 100+ lbs, and so has E�s best friend. My sister in law has lost about 50 lbs. The list could go on and on. Even though I am happy for them, there is that little bit of envy and a little bitchy voice in my head that says, �Why did they get to lose weight and not you? What makes them so special? They�ll probably gain it all back by next year. When�s it gunna be my turn!�
SHUT UP!
I literally have to sit back and remember all of the hard work that they did. All of them exercised. All of them cut back what they ate. It also took all of them time to lose the weight, and I am happy to report that they are all keeping it off.
I know that all good things take time, but remembering that is where I have a problem.
Food:
Breakfast: Tall NF Carmel Macciato and � LF Marion berry muffin (yuck).
Lunch: Turkey, ham, tomato and lettuce on rye with Just 2 Good mayo, � c cottage cheese, and watermelon.
Dinner: Tuna with mayo and onions on rye. (Warning: Bad Breath!)
Binge: Perfect Zone chocolate peanut butter bar. I practically shoved this in my mouth and reached for another before I mentally shook myself.
Calories: 1626
Fat: 25%. Carbs: 51%. Protein: 24%.
My new schedule has wrecked my breakfasts. Instead of eating at home, I stop by my lovely, local Starbucks for a carbo boost. I need to find something quick and easy to eat here at home.
For now, I will pick myself up off the floor, quit my tantrum and get ready for bed.